I recently
stumbled upon a hastily scribbled note that said return of the busy signal. I
can not for the life of me now think what it was that I was reading that
triggered that note to myself, but I do know that it was a note to remind me of
something I wanted to think about more. I also know that I am dating myself
when I admit to remembering the days of getting a busy signal or just a
constant ringing on the other end of the phone instead of voicemail or an
answering machine.
Don’t get
me wrong, I love having voice mail and answering machines. It gives me a sense
of security knowing that family can always reach me and I can always reach
them. Lately, I have also gotten to thinking about what we may have lost by
always being available even if only through voicemail.
I was in
college before I had access to any kind of answering machine or voicemail. So
there were several years that not having one was just normal. Reminiscing about
those years, I thought about what it was like to get a busy signal. A great
many times there was frustration that I could not reach that person. Frustration
of not being able to finish up whatever task it was that required a phone call.
Sometimes it was disappointment that I could not talk to the friend I was
trying to call. But it also taught me that people are not always available when
you need/want them because they were busy with something else. It taught me to
wait and respect the fact the person was busy and not available to me right at
that moment. In many ways it forced me to slow down.
There was
another benefit to the busy signal: when I was on the phone, there was no beep
of a call waiting. I had no idea someone else was trying to reach me so I was
fully focused on the conversation I was having at the moment. Also, if one
really did not want to be disturbed, you just took the phone of the hook and
instant busy signal and a greater chance of no interruptions.
Now one
might argue that you can still do this: just turn off the phone, let voice mail
get it. But with voicemail there is still contact. That message that “I will
get back to you just as soon as I can.” There is that underlying implication
that I am always available. When I get done with being busy, there is always
another call to return.
Some days I
really miss the busy signal, especially very busy days that has every one vying
for my attention. I wish I could just put myself on a busy signal and make
everyone else wait until I am good and ready to deal with the world again. This
is where I really admire those who can accomplish a true tech-free day. This is
something that I have tried to do myself, but am not always that good at
accomplishing.
All of this
reflection has helped me realize that while I will never get the busy signal
back, I can work at regaining some of the benefits of it. When I need to leave
a voicemail I can work on being more internally respectful of that person’s
time and be less anxious about when they will return my call. I can choose to
ignore that beep on the call- waiting and stay focused on my conversation. I
can turn off my phone if I need some time away for Sabbath. In essence, I can
be intentional about making myself slow down, because really that was what the
busy signal made you do.
Last week I
blogged about working to be more present to the moment.
Read about it here. I think this slowing
down and letting others realize you are busy and not available is a part of
being fully present. And it’s not always about being present to someone else’s
need. Sometimes it’s about needing to be present to yourself. And that’s ok.
It’s ok to need to put out a busy signal and retreat for a while. Everything
else will still be there later,
and you can tackle it one
busy at a time.
