Inspirations and Motivations

I am starting 2017 by participating in a challenge. I never thought I would ever participate in any type of challenge, let alone a fitness challenge. I’m just not the type. I have discovered that part of growing is trying new things – so here I am starting a fitness challenge through Taijifit(TM). There are different ways to participate. I am committing to showing up in the online class or the recorded Facebook-live post every day in January. I am committing to engaging in creativity by posting a picture or video each day of me doing a specific move. I am challenging my point of view by creating pictures or video of how I see a specific principle of Taijifit in my week. I am on Day two and having a blast!

Today in class, our teacher, David-Dorian Ross, spent some time discussing the idea of motivation and inspiration. He proposed that they really are two sides of the same coin, and I tend to agree with him. At the end of class he asked us to reflect on what inspires and motivates us. This seems like a good way to focus my thoughts for my first blog of 2017.

I am, by nature, a worrier and a bit of a control freak. I like to know what is going to happen and have a plan. If I don’t…well… then I can worry with the best of them. I am working on this and am hopeful that 31 days of Taijifit will help with some tools to keep the monkey-of-worry at bay. Here is where part of my inspiration comes in: I am deeply inspired by those who can be spontaneous and seem to be able to handle the worst that life throws at them with grace and while exuding inner peace – somehow keeping the internal chaos under control. What motivates me is that I know my tendency towards worry and stress is not healthy for my mind, body, or spirit.

This is where my intentions for 2017 come into play. I call them intentions, because I think it gives more space for them to develop over the course of the year. There is space as I grow and change for the intentions to grow and change with me. This is my intention for 2017, to create space. I want space to reconnect with music – all kinds of music (hey, if you have suggestions of what I should check out, leave a comment with a suggestion). I want space to explore color and incorporate color in my life; I want to see where this journey will take me in my spiritual health and perspective on life. And most of all, I want to create space to just stop.

I think this last one will be the hardest for me, but probably the one I need to do the most. We are a busy family with lots of things going on. It is rare there is a day without at least one thing on the schedule. For me, part of this stopping is making space for what I call “stop days”. These are days where there are no limits on how much TV is watched; we can get dressed or not; we are just together with no agenda or schedules. It is space to just be, to let our bodies and brains wind down to a state of true rest.

This year I want to find a better balance between doing what I am called to do by God and being who I am created by God to be. Doing is action. Being happens in the space I create between the doing. Being is where my contemplative spirit finds room to grow. It is the balance between doing and being the practice of my faith and spirituality find its completeness.

I’ll ask you the same question that David-Dorian Ross asked us in class today – what inspires and motivates you? And I’ll add one of my own: how does that shape your goals or intentions for this next year?

Come join me on the journey, it should be an exciting one.

The Imperfect Path

It is cold and snowy, the kind of day that usually keeps me indoors and using my finger labyrinth instead of my out door one. But for some reason today is different, even though it is covered in snow to the point I can barely see the path and only in places at that, I am drawn to go out and walk Hope’s Labyrinth.

It is quiet out here, the earth blanketed in snow and I feel connected in a very quiet and peaceful way to this abiding beauty. I’ve never done this, walked the outdoor labyrinth without being able to see the path. Taking my first step is very much an act of faith, faith that I will remember this path that I have walked thousands of times before.

Walking today feels so much different, I find myself focused on each step, my feet searching to find the remembered path. My heart is unusually calm and unconcerned about finding the “right” path. This is a bit unusual for this perfectionist. I had expected to be a bit distressed if I found myself making a less than perfect path on my labyrinth journey. Perhaps all these years of labyrinth walking have finally taken root in my heart. That I have finally learned that it is less about how the walking is done, what the path looks like and more about the fact that it is just being walked.

I now understand why I have never walked my labyrinth in the snow; I was too busy worrying about not being able to see the path. Today perhaps I was ready to finally let go of following my preset rules about walking the set out path of the Hope’s Labyrinth. Perhaps the blanket of snow helped me to see that Hope’s Labyrinth is more than just the path, but it’s entire 14 ft. x 14 ft. square area is a place of sacred quiet. It is a place to let go of all of my set out notions of how things should be and let myself find the freedom and connection that comes in just journeying.

I finished my walk, short as it was. It was really cold! I stopped at the entrance and looked back on my footsteps, the circles uneven and the turns unequally taken. And it was beautiful, because it was my path, chosen and walked by me. Its imperfection beautiful. I took a picture to remind me of today’s journey. To remind me that Hope’s Labyrinth really is a labyrinth for all seasons.

A Litany of Thanksgiving

The month of November I try to be very intentional about embracing an exercise in looking for and recording those things for which I am thankful.  This year, engaging this spiritual practice has been most important to my soul's health and wholeness.  There is something about engaging a practice of listing thanksgivings that helps me to stay grounded in spiritual concepts that are important to me such as: hope, grace, love, peace, kindness. The practice serves as a reminder to me that there are good and wonderful things around me and it serves to remind me of God's good works in this world.

This year I included not only using words, but also finding or creating images that reflect my thanksgivings. In doing this I noticed a very spiritual and contemplative focus to my thanksgivings this year. They seemed to come together as a kind of litany. 

This is my last post for the month of November. I am going to take next week or so off and spend some time being less busy and more thankful with those closest to me.  I will be back in December. So as I prepare to take this pause, it seems fitting for me to leave my thankful litany here for you to engage in with me. I also would like to invite you, as we head into these days leading up to the celebration of Thanksgiving, to create your own litany of thanks giving. 

Painted sky displaying the grandeur of God's beauty

For this I am thankful.

Early dawn's light, quiet spaces and rituals that help me enter the day with peace and calm

For them I am thankful.

Books that take me deeper into the heart of the theology and spirituality that feeds my soul and simple tools of pen and journal where my own thoughts can reside

For these things I am thankful.

A faith family that is truly family, worship that feeds the soul, and the offering of our creativity

For these things I am thankful.

The sun that rises and sets, shining clear, bright light reminding me that light still shines and there is always hope

For this I am thankful.

Music that calls to and soothes the soul. Music that heals and restores

For this I am thankful

Moments of creativity

For these I am thankful.

Color bursting, the beauty of God's creation shining

For this I am thankful.

Wind that blows gently, bringing with it a soft rustling. Brushing my face and my soul. Reminding me of the Holy Spirit that flows and blows through us and the world

For this I am thankful.

Self-care of the Soul

Self-care is something that is sacred in my life. It is something that is necessary as I work in the emotionally and spiritually intense world of hospital chaplaincy. One of the things in my self-care inventory is Tai Chi. This slow fluid form of martial arts has become another form of moving meditation and prayer, just like the labyrinth has been for me.

In my exploration of Tai Chi, I have discovered a group called Taijifit. It is an online group that offers live-streamed workouts. The beautiful thing about this online group is that we gather from all over the world to play and do moving meditation together. Taijifit has become an essential part of my self-care routine, and you can find me in the online classroom about 5 days a week. We close each class with some variation of the following “guidelines for life:” “1) Keep your heart open, 2) Take time to play, and 3) Go with the flow. I have found myself reflecting on these guidelines and how they have integrated into my own daily living, and I’d like to share some of what has been ruminating in my brain and heart.

Keep your heart open: as a chaplain I encounter all kinds of people from all walks of life and beliefs. My role is to be present to them in their time of need and help them tap into and use their own spiritual/philosophical belief system as a source of strength and healing. To do this, my heart and mind has to be open to the many different ways of believing and orienting to the world that people have. The other side of an open heart is that I sometimes find my heart feeling more deeply and profoundly the pain of others. And when that happens I find my own healing in the moving mediation of Taijifit and the spoken words of gentle and healing imagery by the instructors that guide us into the movements. And in this I find myself letting the movement becoming a prayer, where I send off the deep feelings of my heart that are not mine to keep to God for safekeeping, and in doing so I find my emotional balance again.

Take time to play: my life is full between my daughter’s activities, my involvement in my church, and my work as a chaplain.  It is easy for me to lose sight of my own needs and time for fun. But as I hear these words after class each night, I am finding that I am becoming more able to put the never-ending to-do list away unfinished as 7:00 pm approaches, and by 8 pm the cell phone is put to silent (unless I am on- call). I am becoming more aware of my daughter’s invitations to play – even those that come in her sneaky tickle attacks of me. I am learning that I do not have to be doing something “productive” every minute of the day. I am learning that it is ok, and even good for me to spend the hour I spend at my daughter’s soccer practice just sitting out there, not really even watching practice but instead just enjoying being outdoors. This whole “take time to play” for me has really become an invitation into Sabbath time.

Go with the flow: ok, to be completely honest this one is really, really hard for me. I am a bit of a control person. I like a plan and to know what is going to happen and what I am going to do and how I am going to respond. I know, counter intuitive for being a chaplain in a hospital where you never seem to really know what the day will be. I’m pretty good at going with the flow at work, so perhaps that is why I tend to be a bit more controlling in other areas. Taijifit has really challenged me on this one. As I grow into applying going-with-the-flow in all aspects of my life I am finding that 1) I am a better mom 2) I am less stressed which means 3) my physical ailments related to stress are better. Essentially I am a healthier person all around. I am learning that if I am able to let go a bit more and open myself up more I am also more present and aware of the workings of God and Spirit going on around me and through me. I am more spiritually centered. This is a really good thing when you are a chaplain and chaos ensues. Ok, being spiritually centered is also really important when parenting, too.

This is all still very much a work in progress for me, but I am excited about where the journey is taking me in my spiritual life. I would like to invite you to consider with me how do you need to keep your heart open, where in your life do you need more play time, and how can you release some control and move into going with the flow of life.

The Common Holy - of Laundry

Laundry is not one of the chores I necessarily like. It is one of the chores that never, ever seem to end. Between soccer practice clothes, soccer uniforms and Tae Kwon Do uniforms there is always something that needs to be washed. Working in a hospital means anything that gets worn to work goes immediately into the laundry before it can be worn again. You probably get the picture – there is always laundry. Perhaps it is the same in your house.

I have developed a routine where I do certain loads on certain days. And while it works for me it does seem to perpetuate the fact that I feel like I am always doing laundry. Then there are the days with so many things going on that I put a load in the washer and the washer buzzes to tell me it was done and, well, four hours later I remember I needed to put the laundry in the dryer. Then there are the things that have to be washed by hand and the part I dislike most, folding the laundry.

Laundry is a very common activity in my house. It is a necessary one. It is one of those chores that I often times grumble about. So this week laundry has become my focus of common holy. How is it that this task can take on an element of holy?  I have Barbara Brown Taylor’s book An Alter in the World: A Geography of Faith to thank for this inspiration. I just finished reading chapter 11 where she talks about prayer. In part of the chapter she writes about how even daily tasks can become prayer as well. These words inspired me to apply this to my task of laundry.

As I wash my hand washables I take a moment to actually feel the cold water swirl around my hands as I move the clothes through the water. I say a prayer of thankfulness that I have clean water that is easily accessible. As I fold the piles of clothes I notice how each one is reflective of the uniqueness of each one of our chosen style and us. I say a prayer of thanks for my husband and daughter who God has blessed me to walk through life with.

As I apply this practice of working prayer I realize that there is an element of blessing going on as well. Again I must thank Taylor and her book An Alter in the World for this perspective to opening me up to the idea of blessing in the every day and common. I think of the evenings spent folding my daughters clothes after she has gone to bed, because once again the day ran out of hours for her to get stuff done (and because I again forgot to put the clothes in the dryer again!) So instead of leaving a pile of clothes for her to fold in the morning I fold them gently and neatly putting them back in the basket for her to put away in the morning. This is blessing her.

Putting the lens of blessing and prayer on the task of laundry has changed my relationship to it just a bit. I again see how there is an element of the holy in prayer and blessing that comes in the work of this chore. In finding the common holy in doing laundry the chore becomes less of a chore and more of an act of love.

And I will have lots of time to practice this new perspective, because the laundry is piling up again…..