Anxious Waiting

Loss of focus,
Netflix distractions,
Missed Obligations,
Is this what anxious waiting looks like?

Over planning the unknown,
Seeking control where one can,
Brain constantly on and whirring,
Is this what anxious waiting looks like?

God, I hate waiting!
Coping with the unknown is hard.
I know You are here with me
in this anxious waiting.
Still I just can't seem to
fully let go into
Your calm and unwavering presence.

To let go feels like
I am abdicating my ability
to do something.
And when life is going topsy turvey
I so need to do something.

God, help me to remember
that letting go into You
is doing the best something I can.

Help me remember and find
that peace that passes all understanding
in Your working presence.

Help me to truly know that You
are working in this for me, with me.
Wanting to make the waiting less anxious,
if only I would let go to You a bit more.

God, help me to wait with you.

AMEN.