The Holy Ground of sharing story

There is something sacred that happens when a person is willing to make themselves vulnerable and share their story and innermost thoughts. Such an experience happened when we had the opportunity to sit down with Rev. Christine Smith who blogs at Shepastor. With her gracious permission we are taking the opportunity with this post to link you to her two part interview with us about our book Still a Mother specifically and more generally about the issues surrounding perinatal and early infant death. Please take a moment to wander over and take a look.

Part 1 can be found here: shepastor.blogspot.com/2015/08/shepastor-highlights-part-i-from-still

Part 2 can be found here: shepastor.blogspot.com/2015/08/shepastor-highlights-part-ii-from-still

A Shadow Sisterhood

In 2003 I was a new, totally green, and yet very eager minister. And, it was, by far part of the worst year of my life.  In a year's span I had two miscarriages and was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Even now, writing a simple blog post reflecting on that time causes a flood of difficult emotions and memories.

I imagined the children that should have been. Children that should have been playmates to our son, that should have filled my arms with love, that should have been with us always...Instead I was left with an emptiness that threatened to engulf my very being.

There is no easy way or fast way to grieve the death of a child. It's hard, gritty and lonely work. And, it's a grief that never ends. Certainly my grief was complicated by my cancer, and I cannot think of one without remembering the other. It is a time that profoundly changed my innermost self, the trajectory of my ministry and my relationship with God.

I felt abandoned and punished by God. In response I became angry and depressed. In time healing overcame those wounds, but they remain tender spots for me. I looked in vain for resources that would 'fit' me and to my dismay I did not find what I needed for the care of my wounded spirit.

Many of us have experienced the death of a child--we are a shadow sisterhood, linked together by sorrow, whether we know each other or not. It is for this reason Joy and I co-edited and contributed to a resource for grieving mothers and those caring for them. It is a project born from our own heartache and desire to use those experiences for ministry.

Still A Mother: Journeys through Perinatal Bereavement will be released by Judson Press in February of 2016. It is a collection of narratives, of the tender-most experiences of seven women who also happen to be clergy. Together, Joy and I are in awe of those women who have exposed their most private thoughts of their own grief journey.

Joy and I will continue to provide updates about the book from time to time. We are quite excited about this project and are hopeful it can provide some help for those who have similar, though different, experiences.

This summer we were interviewed by Rev. Christine Smith, author and creator of the blog Shepastor. For the next few weeks she will write about Still A Mother and our conversation together. http://shepastor.blogspot.com/