And in the Meantime...

Recently I’ve been officiating funerals for families that do not have a connection to a faith community or minister. It’s an interesting way to be in ministry at the moment…I feel that in a small way I’m still providing ministry for folks who are in need of compassion and heartfelt presence. I’m looking for ways to be active in ministry while in the search process for a congregation, while not having an actual real honest to goodness ministry ‘job.’ It’s a strange space to be in, frankly. How can I continue to be in ministry while I’m in this period of transition? What good can I do and how can I grow?

A friend has suggested that I call this time my ‘sabbatical’ and I have to say that has really stuck with me…I do believe this is a time of renewal for my spirit, a time of reprioritizing goals and praying and contemplating what is next in ministry. That’s a tough thing to try and figure out…it seems as if I’m in an undefined space…what is next. There’s some pressure in that space. I feel that as a modern professional woman I need to be active in my called profession. And yet, there is value in waiting to see what happens next. Sometimes it doesn’t feel as if that’s ‘ambitious’ enough, while other times it makes sense. But, really, I’ve never been very patient…and so it’s a tug of war in my head between the two.

I have my ministerial profile in circulation, and that process can take quite awhile. Meanwhile, I continue to serve because if I don’t have even brief moments of ministry then I tend to have a bit of an identity crisis…I have preached a Sunday in a small congregation whose minister was ill. I’ve officiated a few funerals, Joy and I have finished up our manuscript on our book—clergy women and their personal experiences with miscarriage through infant death…so it remains a busy time and that makes me feel good about where I am.

Since I have my ministerial profile in circulation I’ve spent a lot of time in thought and prayer about where I’m to go next. I’ve been praying for that congregation, even though I don’t know who they are yet. And, I’ve been asking myself—what is my ministerial identity…am I a chaplain? Am I a congregational minister? Is it possible to serve as a chaplain within a congregation? Where do I fit in the broad scope of ministry? How can I use my pastoral care skills in a way that honors what I love about being a chaplain, but in a congregation where I feel called next?

And, in the meantime…it’s been nice to be useful.