Psalms of Catharsis

In my journey through school and to being a Board Certified Chaplain writing has been a large part of my life I have written more papers and personal reflections than I care to count. Even now daily I find myself writing whether it be in a patient chart note or e-mail to someone. But with all this writing in my life, it is only recently that I have come to see myself as a writer.

My aha moment came during Lent when I spent some time reflecting on the psalms and praying and experiencing them in new ways. Not only did I rediscover the depth of the Psalms and just how much they have to offer in coping with the many emotions that life has to offer, but also that there is much space for new Psalms written out of personal experience. The process of writing in this way can be deeply cathartic.

Today I break from the typical longer narrative blog and simply share a couple of my own Psalms. The writing of these two was a personal catharsis of some of the very messy, realness of life that I experience in my work as a chaplain.

                       

FORGIVE

For you are merciful God. You desire us to know the depths of your mercy.

Only you know the depths of my soul that I hide from even myself.

Respond to me God. Break the silence of my shame. Shout loudly enough to allow me to hear beyond the walls of my self-loathing.

Instill in me the beauty of your forgiveness that I may find my way back to the beauty of wholeness.

Very much you desire me to be merciful to myself - just as you are merciful to me.

Everyday is a new beginning, a chance to be made new in your love and mercy, a new opportunity to practice forgiveness of myself. For that I am grateful.

Called to Light and Love

O God darkness surrounds, hopelessness abounds – so much new of all that is bad.

Glimmers of your light shine out, but it seems dim some days.

Yet still you call me to belief in your love, belief in your light.

It is this belief that sustains me. Your love and light that guides in the dark to your love and hope.

In faith I trust that this darkness will someday end and I will once again see all that is beautiful.

Until then I will seek to rest and abide in your presence, trusting you to provide the light and love that I seek.

AMEN.