You were birthed out of a need
To mark the existence of my Hope.
I lovingly designed you with intention.
Choosing the design
for my spiritual connecting points.
Choosing the plants for their beauty.
Creating, for me, the perfect space
of remembrance and healing.
Then plants died,
I replanted.
They died again.
I accepted the need to try
different plants.
It's was almost as if -
you were growing
creating your own identity.
Just like my little one would have grown.
I went out to tend you the other day.
To start waking you up from your winter slumber.
Again - plants had died.
What will replace them this time?
I don't know.
You are growing,
transforming again.
Just like my Hope would be.
My Hope would be 8 now.
Discovering new likes,
Embracing the personality forming.
Transitioning from a little child to an older child.
So perhaps it should not surprise me that
you also are changing again.
I think that this time I will not rush
to "fix" the empty spaces where plants were.
Instead I will listen.
Listen to your guidance.
I will let you tell me what your next expression
of self is to be.
Just like I would have done for my Hope.
You were birthed to honor the
living, loved child that never
made it to live in this world.
It is no wonder you have taken on
the living and growing that
was never to be for my little one.
You took on my Hope
that I gave into your care
when I created you in Hope's memory.
It is time for me to quit
making you into my image
and honor your path
and your gifts,
To let you be what it is
that you choose.
