The last several weeks, I have been working hard on giving
myself space. This was necessary as I lived into and through a season of change
in my chaplaincy world. It has been in this space that I have been musing on a
couple of metaphors to help reshape the way I approach my chaplaincy day and why
this time of doing something different was so important.
One thing
that is important to know is I enjoy lists. I get a certain satisfaction of
being able to check things off my list. There is nothing better in my
organizational life than seeing a list fully accomplished. However, there is a
down side to this, I can get very focused on the list and that is not always a
good thing.
It was this
list focus and the stress it was causing in my workday that sent me on a
journey of rediscovering a better relationship to the lists of my workday. You
see, each day I work from a list – a list of patients to see and lists of units
that need to be checked in on. And each day there is always the possibility of
something “interrupting” my movement down the list of patients and units to
see. For my sanity I had to come up with a better way of viewing my lists of
the day. And that is when the aha moment hit.
Growing up
in Colorado I had quite a bit of exposure to hiking and camping. I remember my
father sitting at the kitchen table looking at topographical maps and planning backcountry
back packing trips, one of them being a family-backpacking trip. A brief primer
on topographical maps, they give you the lay of the land you are hiking in,
telling you elevations, hiking trails and landmarks. I was taught that you
never go out backcountry hiking with out the topographical map and a compass. This
way if you find yourself off the trail you can re-orient yourself to where you
are and where you need/want to be.
Remembering
this little tidbit from my youth gave me insight into what my lists of the day
could be. I began to look at my lists a bit like a topographical map. Giving me
the lay of the land of the “wilderness” of the hospital and the patients,
families and staff I encounter each day. When something “off list” comes to my
attention it is much like going off trail – a new adventure – but eventually
that “adventure” is over and I need to get back on track. That is the new role
of the list – not something that drives my day, but rather more like the
topographical map that gives me the lay of what my day might look like.
I am still
working with in this metaphor, seeing if it really works for me. But after a
month of living with it, I am feeling more settled into the ebb and flow of
life as a hospital chaplain than I have in a long time. The inevitable page
that calls me away from my planned day is not as anxiety provoking to this
reforming list follower. I am finding myself feeling freer to respond to the
needs of the day – even if they are not on my original “to do list.” And if I
find myself needing a bit of re-orientation to my day, the list is there to help
me.
You would
have thought that I would have figured this out sooner, seeing as how I have been
doing this chaplain thing for close to 15 years now. I’m just glad that I
discovered it now and was encouraged to work towards this internal change.
And
speaking of change that leads to the other metaphor I have been playing around
with. But you will have to stay tuned for that one, because that is a whole
other blog post of it’s own.
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