Photo credit: Karen Nelson |
It was good to have the break, a time for me to step back
and get back to less intense units and doing the work of responding to
referrals and other work that was similar to what I did as chaplain just
starting out at my place of employment. And until recently that is exactly how
I saw this time – a break.
Then I listened to a pod cast by Rob Bell that talked about
the practice of Sabbath and the practice of letting a field lay fallow you can
listen to it here.
This reminded me of something I picked up during my years growing up in a rural
area. Farmers will often times rotate the crops that they grow in a field. This
allows for a field to not be depleted of important nutrients by having the same
crop grown in it over and over again.
As I reflected on this idea of crop rotation and letting
ground lay fallow (not have anything growing in it) I began to realize that my
request to take time away from one area and be reassigned was not “copping out”
but instead implementing a good spiritual practice of care to the field of my
soul. By moving away from one area and into another I was given the opportunity
to let my soul be nourished with important nutrients of not having every day be
filled with the high paced need of critical care, that I was being given space
to reconnect with skills of teaching and visioning and dreaming with colleagues
that I had not been able to do for so long. I was given the gift of going back
to areas and hearing people say I have missed seeing you and getting to
reconnect.
Something else happened during this time away, my own
spiritual practices changed. I found myself doing a lot of what I call
contemplative coloring. I put aside the books I was reading. What at the time
felt like doing nothing was actually letting my soul lay fallow and just rest.
And how I needed that rest time. That time to not be diving deep, to not be
drawing on nutrients that were almost gone. To just let the field of my soul be.
And as I have felt drawn back into the books I have in my quiet space at home I
am finding what once felt dry and barren in my soul now feels rich and filled once
more.
Both this time of spiritual fallowness and the time of assignment
rotation has allowed for a safer, healthier response to the emotional work of
chaplaincy. I am left reflecting on the metaphor of fallow fields and crop
rotation. I am left wondering if there is greater implication for the work of
chaplaincy – the idea of after a designated period rotating from one area to
another. I wonder if a spiritual practice of rotation would help with the issue
of compassion fatigue and burn out that comes in work that is so emotionally
heavy.
I know how I would answer these wonderings for myself. Yes,
my rotation away helped with my compassion fatigue and close to burn out. I
would say that it has given me a fresh passion for my work as chaplain. It is now
another self care practice I am adding to my tool box. I am now moving
forward with a new intentionality of keeping this practice of balance between a
well paced rotation in and out of low and high need areas mixed in with a hefty
dose of personal Sabbath time. And with it holding continued hope for years of
a healthy journey in my vocation of chaplaincy.
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